Twelve Days of Christmas Traditions: Eight People Quoting

Everyone's got those movies they have to watch at some point during the Christmas season; we Lambsons take it a step further by having certain movies we watch on certain days of the Christmas season. White Christmas and Home Alone on Thanksgiving, Scrooge on Christmas Eve, It's a Wonderful Life on Christmas day, and others sprinkled in between (for the sake of this post, recently acquired traditional viewings, like Elf or Christmas Vacation, are omitted since I don't associate them with my growing up years).

Sorry, Mr. Narwhal, maybe next blog post.

I don't really know how to do this one without getting into big details about each movie to make sure those who haven't seen them get what I'm talking about. That would take too long, so I'll simply attach an original haiku to each one.

White Christmas
Singers woo sisters,
A winterless ski resort,
Snow, snow, snow, snow, snow!

Honestly, if I came into a club car and a table was randomly singing while
staring at a poster, I'd quietly turn around and leave.

Home Alone
A boy left at home,
An old shoveler, and thieves
Scared by a spider.

Macauley Culkin will only be remembered for playing Kevin; Gerry Bamman
 will only ever be known as Uncle Frank. 

A Charlie Brown Christmas
Bald kid cannot see
What Christmas really stands for,
Linus enlightens.

This is about what I imagine Bacon's dog house would look like.

A Muppet Family Christmas
Puppets on a farm,
Shredded wheat, cranberry sauce,
Winnebago jokes.

Did anyone like the turkey? Be honest. We all wanted him dead by the end.

The Muppet Christmas Carol
Scrooge meets puppet friends,
Large, absent-minded spirit,
Tim: "The goose! The goose!"

His experience with spectral puppets led Alfred Pennyworth to leave the
world of commerce and go to butler school.

The Lemon Drop Kid
A swindler's sweet tooth,
Silver bells and the pokey,
Santas chunk it in.

The special edition blu-Ray has an interactive clinic on mop knitting.

Finney hates people,
Come here, you weird little man!
At Fred's house: "Who's he?"

What Daddy Warbucks looked like before he got REALLY rich. And bald.

It's a Wonderful Life
Jimmy loses cash,
Sees a George Bailey-less life,
An angel gets wings.

This film gave me a movie career THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS big.

So that's the gamut of Lambson family Christmas movie traditions for you. And since you're undoubtedly wondering about the title of this post, at any given point during any one of these movies, it's a good bet one of us is quoting along. I didn't count Dad, though - he's usually asleep.

*This is the source of the Cockney "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing" I mentioned a few days ago.


Beckie said…
Nailed it again, Lambson. I love that you captured the essence of some of the best quote in the minimalist form of the haiku. The Scrooge one is probs my favorite, "Who's he?" Brilliant.
Kirsti said…
I personally loved the bit with "the goose!" and tiny tim. What an annoying character!
Peeser said…
Just brilliant! I love each and every one of these creative haikus!

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