"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams." - Arthur O'Shaughnessy
I remember that glass being half-full not too long ago. But it's looking more and more empty each day.
I am becoming a cynic.
That has been the stark realization trickling into and around my mind for the last several days. Or maybe I'm just jaded. Are those two the same thing?
Semantics aside, I find myself looking at things in the world and assuming the worst. Or at least, not assuming the best.
Junior high kids at a football game- my first thought is that none of them is as cool as they think they are.
College kids- I found myself almost cursing under my breath yesterday as a crowd of Mizzou students kept me and Tamara from making a quick in-and-out stop at Chipotle. For absolutely no logical reason, every single one of them bothered me.
Politics- I'm sick of it. The whole "campaign" thing. I was sick of it 18 months ago, and I was practically homicidal during the Primary season. Yes, maybe there are many people who would say this is justifiable. But how can I be mad at what I feel like I believe is the best government on the planet?
Even people at church- I get a little annoyed or smirk when I get the impression someone is settling on the mainstream ideas of the LDS church (like that the Plan of Salvation really is made up of 6 circles, one of which looks like the moon). I almost mentally scoff that their percieved understanding doesn't make it too far past the lesson manual.
Now don't worry- Tamara and I are just fine, never better, and work is great.
So what is wrong with me? Why am I becoming an Ebenezer Scrooge? How can I change? What must I do to become unjaded? To feel hope again? To see the best in someone from the start? To rid myself of preconcieved notions, particularly where people are concerned?
How do I fix myself?
And if you just give me the "seminary answers," without any kind of elaboration or expounding, I'm gonna slug you.