One Heck of a Good Day
So this last Sunday was a very good day. It started off with Roger Federer winning his fifth straight Wimbledon title over Rafael Nadal- that made Kirsten and I quite happy. And it ended with both a Cardinals and a Yankees victory (coupled with a Boston loss). Sports-wise, a very good day.
But the best part of the day came when, once again, Tamara agreed to marry me. Long story short, I got really bad jitters, so we decided to take a step back from the previous engagement until I could get things figured out. I determined in that time that I truly love Tamara, that she makes me happy, makes me feel safe and complete. She's not perfect, but neither am I. And she certainly has things figured out better than I do.
Am I nervous? Of course. Am I scared? Absolutely. It's often not a comfortable thought, turning one's life, heart and mind over to another. It's weird to think about living with someone day in, day out, especially someone of the opposite sex. What will it be like to share breakfast with this woman every day for the rest of our lives? What will it be like to lay down at the end of every day with her, sometimes happy, sometimes upset, sometimes exhausted?
I don't know. What I do know is that I love Tamara. I love being the arms that hold her at the end of a long day. I love being the smile that greets her when she comes over to visit. I love being the shoulder that she cries on and the hand that wipes away her tears. I love feeling safe with her, knowing that somehow, whatever is going on will work out. I love holding her hand next to my heart. I love putting my arm around her wherever we are, squeezing her gently every so often to let her know I'm still there. And then she gently squeezes my knee, telling me she is too.
I don't know what lies ahead for the two of us. But I do know we can figure it out. And we'll have eternity to do so.